Apple Martin—daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin—is having the sort of birthday parties, at age 13, that most of us will never come close to matching over the course of our entire lifetimes. Over this past weekend, Paltrow shared an Instagram post featuring a portrait of Apple on her birthday—though you already know this, as you assuredly received no less than 25 separate text messages from various friends when it went up. “Happy 13th birthday, you gorgeous human. You light up every room, my heart, the word,” Paltrow wrote, signing off with a hashtag of the apple emoji, which is very “mom” and very Gwyneth.
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We learned a bit about Apple’s birthday party from a subsequent Paltrow Instagram post, in which she shared that the family—yes, including dad Chris Martin—convened at the Museum of Ice Cream, which has become something of a Los Angeles hot spot (both Kim Kardashian West and Katy Perry have recently toured the spot).
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Page Six did provide a few additional details about the party on Monday night (though not nearly enough!), including that the entire room sang “Happy Birthday” to Apple. Thank you for that shocking reveal, Page Six.
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More intriguingly, the report notes that Jay Z, Beyoncé, and Blue Ivy Carter were guests at the event. Now knowing that, we understand why they felt it was important to let us know “Happy Birthday” was sung—how often are you serenaded on your birthday by the entire Knowles-Carter family!!? Where does one even go from there?
This information also would seemingly imply that we still have a bit of time before Beyoncé gives birth to her twins—or, at the very least, that she was not in labor over the weekend. Perhaps, if Beyoncé really wants the twins to have the most chic public debut they can, she should wait a year, for Apple Martin’s 14th birthday party, to have them make their first appearance.
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