Unfortunately, I’m writing this from a place of anger and frustration. I’m annoyed that I can’t freely express my dislike for my naturally kinky hair. Can you be proud of who you are, where you come from, and still dislike a personal feature or trait? Any sane person would answer “yes!” Not in the African American community apparently. If you are proud of being black, you embrace everything that comes along with the territory. That means just going through the motions. In order to truly understand my hair trauma we must look at my childhood. Yes childhood, it’s that deep.
You are watching: I hate my natural hair
From a very young age, I always disliked having my hair done. While speaking with friends recently, I realized that I wasn’t the only black girl who felt that way. Side note: do other little girls experience this too? It wasn’t that I was a tomboy. It wasn’t that I didn’t like to look kempt and/or polished. Having my hair manipulated in any way was painful. This was painful mostly because of the texture of my hair.I have 4C hair.
It is very coarse, kinky, thick, and dry. There is a popular hair scale that is used to describe our curl patterns. This scale ranges from 3A-4C (with 3A being the loosest curl pattern and 4C being the kinkiest and tightest). This texture means that it took more time, maintenance, and products in order for my hair to look “styled.” Detangling was and still is the most time-consuming and frustrating aspect of it all.
If you are proud of being black, you embrace everything that comes along with the territory. That means just going through the motions. In order to truly understand my hair trauma we must look at my childhood. Yes childhood, it’s that deep.
A history of my hair
As a very young child, I spent lots of time having my hair done by my mom, family members, and hairstylists. Depending on what hairstyle I got, it could take up to 6 hours. Hours that other kids would spend with their friends playing, doing homework, or exploring outside. Imagine me at four years old sitting still for hours at a time just for a hairstyle. Obviously this situation was something I couldn’t understand and it was becoming a problem for all parties involved.
See more: Pool Filter Pressure Gauge Air Relief Valve, Understanding Your Pool Filter Pressure Gauge
Image from blackhairinformation.com
Apparently, if I scratch my scalp, it “opens my pores.” With open pores, the lye will literally burn my scalp. Obviously, as a 5-year-old, I didn’t listen. Refraining from scratching my itching scalp seemed absolutely ridiculous to me. Did I mention that the relaxer has to sit on my head for a specific amount of time before it can be rinsed out? So here I am with lye burning my scalp and no relief in sight. If the relaxer is washed out before the specified amount of time, it is possible that the process “won’t take.” Even though I am in pain, I’m still sitting, waiting, and trying not to complain.
Once the relaxer is rinsed out, I notice immediate relief until I feel the sores and burns on my scalp from the chemical process. “They will heal,” I think to myself. Now it is time to have it blown dry. The heat and comb from the hairdryer cause continuous pain but I know this is something I have to get through. The final steps are having my hair brushed and wrapped around my head in a circle. A headscarf or bonnet then covers my head and completes the tedious process. The scarf is used to protect my hair from damage.
The journey and the Lesson
You would think having braids would be less painful than a hot comb but honestly, it’s still painful. The pain would last days after until the braids loosen. Your natural hair is pulled very tightly into the braid, which causes immediate pain. Lasting pain and a lifetime of damage. The follicles of the hair being pulled too tightly consistently lead to hair loss and damage to the scalp. Not only is this process painful but it can take anywhere between 2-12 hours depending on the style. There are still parts of my scalp today that haven’t fully recovered, the hair is scarce and tender in some spots.
See more: 6441 Topaz Ct, Fort Myers, Fl 33966, Public Works
Naturally Grateful
Pros: now that all of the cons are out of the way, I can express my gratitude. Yes, my hair is a pain in my ass and it has been since childhood but it is also absolutely magical. It’s thick, rich in color, deeply coiled, and most importantly, versatile. There was a three to five year period during college when I enjoyed my hair the most. It was long, healthy, and much less maintenance than it is now. I would do so many different styles. I’d wear my hair in twists, twist outs, afro puffs, afros, high ponytails, low ponytails, and braids. Any style you can think of, I had it. My hair was beautiful and I received compliments non-stop but did that make it worth all of the literal blood, sweat, and tears? Absolutely not!
The reason I keep my hair in braids and other protective styles is that caring for it daily is like having a second full-time job. Let me tell you about this job. It starts with co-washing (using conditioner instead of shampoo) once a week, deep conditioning overnight, detangling, air drying, and twisting my hair into tiny sections. If my hair is not twisted before bed, the second I lay my head down, my hair shrinks back to my scalp creating the “no hair” look. Also, twisting my hair before bed gives me the desired style for the next day. Imagine moisturizing, detangling, and twisting every single night regardless of how you are feeling. It is a huge commitment, one that I’m not willing to make at this point in my life.
