Every Monday evening, without fail, I get the boppy theme song of Bravo’s Southern Charm stuck in my head. If you’re not singing “ba ba doo” while you’re watching Whitney and Thomas be mean to Katherine for an hour, you have beaten the earworm and I want to know your secrets. Of course, I had to know who is responsible for that jaunty tune, and I have some answers: The Southern Charm theme song is none other that “It’s Easy,” written and performed by singer/songwriter/actress/voiceover artist Mia Sable. The song is such a perfect fit for not only the tone of the show, but also for the cast members of Southern Charm, too. A tune about a rich guy who gets what he wants? Um, on Southern Charm we have four rich dudes who get whatever they want, from bedding as many ladies as possible to waking up to get to the office at 3 p.m. Their resemblance to the person in this song is pretty uncanny. To prove it, I’ve analyzed the lyrics of “It’s Easy” and matched them to the male members of the Southern Charm cast.
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Cameran and Landon are too well adjusted to be included here, and Kathryn frankly has enough problems, so I’ve left her out of here, too. Listen below and read on: Here’s how Bravo hit the nail on the head by combining “It’s Easy” by Mia Sable and Southern Charm.
This one is kind of straightforward: “It’s Easy” opens with “He’s got money/He’s in magazines/He’s got more honeys/Than any honeybee.” Um, hello, Shep? In many conversations with sweet, sweet Cameran over the past one-and-a-half seasons, Shep has, in so many words, told Cameran that he’s not down with, well, settling down, and that women are “his hobby.” That’s gross, Shep, but it pairs perfectly with the lyrics to the song. Shep does have money, he is indeed in magazines (mostly thanks to the show), and certainly has more honeys than a honeybee, who, presumably, has plenty of honey given that that is a bee’s only job — to get honey. Get money, get paid, get ladies: That’s gotta be Shep’s motto.
“It’s Easy” continues, “He was lazy/Just a regular Joe Blow/But times have changed/Dontcha know, dontcha know.” This is kind of a match to hot-but-not-smart Craig. Don’t get me wrong: Craig was smart enough to get into and graduate from law school, but now he’s lazy as all get-out. His times need to change if he’s going to pass the bar and become, you know, a real lawyer. You can’t go into the office at 3 p.m., Craig, even if you were up all night working. Part of the deal of working in an office is, you know, going into the office. I’m really sorry.
Later in “It’s Easy” Mia Sable sings, “He’s got promise/Yeah, he’s got the shine/He’s got scandals/To pass the time.” How remiss would I be if I didn’t dedicate this stanza to T-Rav himself, a man who slept his way through Charleston, got locked up for cocaine possession, and then got his 20-year-old girlfriend pregnant and refused to marry her? I mean, scandal just follows Thomas around, mostly because he lets it. Thomas needs a life intervention, and fast. Mia Sable hit this one on the head, even if she didn’t write it for T-Rav.
Admittedly, I am not a Whitney fan. Further lyrics in “It’s Easy” go “Whoa, they got the place/Spinnin’ around his little pinky/You gotta hand it to the man/He’s makin’ it look so easy.” Bingo. Whitney is, frankly, awful, with the constant catty comments he makes and the general entitlement in which he moves through his life, but he makes it look so easy. Hasn’t anyone caught onto this? He’s one of the executive producers of the show, which I think contributes to his portrayal, but damn. How has anyone not seen through this guy’s antics?
There you have it: Bravo hit the nail on the head with choosing “It’s Easy” for Southern Charm. Next, I want tailored theme songs for all of the Real Housewives franchises. Maybe songs about throwing drinks and getting Botox?